The Green-Eyed Monster

“Although I’ve agreed you can adopt Moses” said the Pharaoh to Hatshepsut, “there’s still the problem that you don’t have a husband. We Egyptians are a nation of Family Values, which means any woman having a child must have a husband. It doesn’t matter if the child is adopted or is born to you, it must have a legal father, which is your husband. This is the Egyptian Way.”

“But I can’t find a man I’d like for a husband,” said Hatshepsut. “No man, as far as I can see, is suitable for me. I don’t want to settle for second-best. I want only the best.”

“Stop thinking only of yourself,” said the Pharaoh, “you’re too self-centered. You’re a…….a………narcissist. Yes, that’s what you are. Remember, as a royal princess, everything you do must be for the good of Egypt, even if it isn’t for the good of yourself. It’s not about you. It’s about Egypt.”

“You’re the one to talk” said Hatshepsut. “Because you can’t bear the thought of not having me in your life, you’re allowing me to adopt Moses and have him live here in the Royal palace, even though you think that, when he’s grown, he’s going to bring about the downfall of Egypt – the very Egypt you are as Pharaoh duty-bound to preserve protect and defend. And you accuse me of putting myself before the good of Egypt? That’s rich, is all I can say.”

“I didn’t say Moses was going to be the one who’ll bring about the downfall of Egypt, only that he may be the one who’ll do this, based on what my sacred counselors have said. I’m simply giving Moses, and you, the benefit of the doubt.”

“What a rationaliser you are, father. A hypocrite is more like it.”

“If I am, daughter, it’s because although I’m the Pharaoh, I’m also a man with all the weaknesses of a man, and I have a weakness for you. I’m confessing this not only to you, but also to the Sun God Ra, who can strike me down any time He wishes. But He hasn’t, at least not yet. I’m taking this to mean I must be alright with Him, at least for the present. But now, I want to get back to what I was saying before I got side-tracked, which is you’ll have to have a husband if you’re to bring up this boy Moses as your son.”

“Do you have a man in mind, father?”

“I do as a matter of fact. Your half-brother Thutmose junior.”

“Thutmose junior?!! You have to be joking if you think I’d want Thut junior as my husband. The very thought of coupling with a half-brother is a turn-off for me in itself. Quite apart from this, he’s sick all the time, always sneezing and coughing and spitting. And he’s a half-wit to boot. All this, together with his receding chin, protruding rotting teeth, pink piggy eyes, fleshy bulbous nose, and elephantine ears, makes him the most unappealing specimen of manhood I can think of. You have a good sense of fun, father, ha ha ha…….”

“I’m deadly serious, daughter. Thut junior, as my oldest son, even though by my secondary wife Mutnophret, will take over as Pharaoh when I die, which I expect will be quite soon.  But, if you marry him, you could control him so completely, you’d be the Pharaoh in all but name. Thut junior, being all the things you so accurately described him as, will become just a figurehead Pharaoh when I die. But you, with your beauty, intelligence, and ambition, will have all the power. Thut junior won’t be Pharaoh too long because he’s so sickly he’s going to die early. When he does, you can succeed him as the recognised Pharaoh if you play your cards right. I hope you now see, daughter, that Thut junior will be the perfect husband for you.”

“Yes, yes, I do see this, father. You’ve obviously thought this through carefully. I thank you for this from the bottom of my heart. All things considered, Thut junior’s hand in marriage is an offer I can hardly refuse, for I do admit to a consuming desire to become the Pharaoh  some day. The path to this that you’ve laid out, does seem to me the most practicable, while I accept it won’t be the most pleasurable. I mean, just the thought of giving my body to Thut junior in a marriage bed is causing me stomach pains even while I’m talking.”

“And the thought of you giving your body to Thut junior in any bed, let alone a marriage one, is causing me stomach pains too, daughter. I’m assailed by the green-eyed monster even though I’m old. Even when in the ecstasies of my couplings with your mother Ahmose, or with Thut junior’s mother Mutnophret, it’s you who occupies my thoughts.”

“Just enjoy them, father.”

– Exodus 2
Women in Scripture
Bible Archeology
The Perplexing Historical Moses

This entry was posted in Exodus 2 and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to The Green-Eyed Monster

  1. Lucy says:

    This is an edgy posting, touching on a taboo that you handle masterfully with graceful delicacy and wicked humor. This is your best piece yet. Can they get any better?

    • Christopher says:

      It’s comments like yours that make writing these pieces feel worthwhile.

      Even though I say it, I, too, think this my best piece yet. Now, I’m filled with anxiety that my next offering won’t turn out as good. I can’t be brilliant all the time, you know!!

      My best is all I can do……….

  2. Mathilda says:

    In Hatshepsut’s contemplated marriage to Thut junior, you have the Pharaoh saying to her, “…….if you marry him, you could control him so completely, you’d be the Pharaoh in all but name………”.

    Ah, the theme of a woman (almost always the wife) being the power behind the throne, behind any throne, behind any president, behind any prime minister, behind any corporate CEO. Does this explain the widespread foolishness of leaders in any walk if life, almost all of whom are male?

    If these male leaders didn’t have a wife to guide them, would they still be as foolish? I think “no”, because they would be even more foolish. A leader’s wife simply prevents him from being more foolish than he would be if he didn’t have a wife.

    Is this because we women are foolish, only less foolish than you men? Although I think “yes”, it is because most of us women have internalized men’s values, have internalized men’s ideas of how we as women should be, which is – not to put too fine a point on it – to look pretty, act dumb, and be subservient to you men.

    This prevents most of us women becoming aware that we are the superior sex – a finding that sociological, biological, and psychological studies have shown demonstrably to be true.

    • Christopher says:

      Although myself a man, I don’t disagree with what you say. I would add, though, that we men are superior in some aspects of life, such as that we’re superior in brute strength, and that we produce the sperm, without which human life wouldn’t exist.

      However, machines can now lift anything men can, and humans can be reproduced through sperm collected in test tubes. If we ever become able to collect and store male sperm in sufficient quantities to fertilise females over the next few million years – and I think this is eminently possible – then the human male becomes completely superfluous. Men simply won’t be necessary.

      I’m quite happy with this………..

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s